If you were queer, I’d still be here

This morning, I tried to take Hugo to the vet on the bus.  Tried being the operative word.  You see, I got on the wrong bus.  Right number, going the wrong direction.  Please note that this is the second time I’ve done this in two days.  Maybe I should stop being so stubbornly independent and talk to the bus driver when I board a line I’ve never ridden before.  Live and learn.  Anyway, we rode the bus a loooong way east on Macarthur through the 100’s, through San Leandro and ended up at Bay Fair BART.  It’s ok, you can laugh.  I realized my mistake at some point, but the thought of standing at a bus stop in East Oakland with my unhappy cat in a carrier didn’t sound any more fun than staying on the bus.  So we went to BART, on which, it turns out, pets are allowed (in small carriers, like the bus).  I called the vet and ended up having to reschedule to tomorrow, and the thought of putting us both through another public transit fiasco made me want to cry.  So I took the BART all the way to Berkeley, then sat and waited a long time for a third bus to take me to my old house where I borrowed the minivan.  Phew. Poor Hugo was absolutely miserable this entire time.  He’s an old hat at car rides, but the big bumps and loud scary noises of the buses, trains, and traffic were just too much for him.  He cried nonstop, gave me the most pathetic looks, and hid underneath his bed for protection.  I think he hates me now, and I feel like the worst mommy ever.  And to top it off, there’s still something wrong with his eye.  Sigh.

But in more important news, an Iowa judge overturned the state’s same-sex marriage ban!  Huzzah!  For the life of me, I’ll never understand the logic behind the “gay marriage destroys the sanctity of straight marriage” line of thinking.  But to deconstruct that one would be nothing new.  So instead, worth revisiting is this amusing tongue-in-cheek list that I’ve seen make its way around myspace a few times.

The Top Ten Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong

1. Homosexuality is not natural. Real people always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still aren’t supposed to marry whites.
5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if homosexual marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Homosexual couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.
7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in North America.
9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Also, did anyone hear about the Idaho senator Larry Craig who was involved in a sex scandal in the bathroom of the Minneapolis airport?  I am endlessly amused by following this story.  His press conference about what happened entailed him saying “I am not gay.  I never have been gay.  I love my wife.  I love my friends, I love Idaho, I love my job” etc etc etc.  Because, you know, gay people don’t love their friends.  Or Idaho.  Did you know, by the way, that people from Idaho are called Idahoans.  That makes me giggle. Oh and also the fact that he starts his statement by saying “Thank you all for coming out today.”  Struggle.
I hope that you, my dear readers, are familiar with the musical Avenue Q, and the wonderful song from it, “If You Were Gay.”  If not, inquire within to burn the soundtrack.  Anyway, here is a video somebody put together on youtube.  Love it.

~ by musiclikemercy on August 31, 2007.