Should I stay or should I go?
I’m not sure what I expected from life in the big city of my dreams, but I don’t think it was this. I feel bored, lost, unexciting, unworthy. Hence the dearth of blogging, perhaps. One part of me just wants to pick up and move and try somewhere else. But the other voice says no no, you’re just getting restless because you’ve been here for awhile. Make some changes, make your life what you want it to be. Don’t give up on the bay. And then the other voice says why not? Move to another country for awhile, go on an adventure while you still can.
My aunt bought a house in Collingswood, New Jersey and wants me to come live with her. Weirdly enough, I’m rather tempted. Sure there’s the free/cheap rent factor, but Collingswood seems like a pretty cool town, and I’m getting disillusioned with city life in general. I’ve been able to hear a freeway from my bed for 2 years. Then again it’s a short train ride to Philly, a new city waiting for me to explore it. And it’s close to lots of family members I miss, and closer than California is to everything I miss about the east coast. But, enter voice of reason: I have no friends there, I hate the humidity, and I’d miss the bay area immensely as soon as I left.
In conclusion, I’m a little conflicted, obviously. I’ve given myself a time frame, which should help. I’ll stay at my job and in my apartment until I’ve been at both a year, which is September. Then I’ll decide whether to stay or go.
I’m a little smitten with my current foster dog, who’s been living with me for almost three months now. Her name is Daphne, and she might be my soulmate. But if I adopt her, adventure plans go down the tube; I’d be settled down.
